Ted Swiney is a character who appears in Fever Crumb. He was a citizen of London, at first the cruel and bossy owner of a tavern called The Mott and Hoople, then later became the Mayor of London for a short period of time.

Ted Swiney used to be a fighter at Picked-El Circus before the series, then became an owner of many tavern-related places. Charley Swallow worked unhappily at the Mott and Hoople, having been beaten and repremanded by Ted Swiney many times, until Bagman Creech came and took Charley to work with him. When Ted Swiney finds out about how the Londoners saw Fever Crumb and claimed she was a Scriven, and that Shrike killed Creech, Ted Swiney tried to find Solent and Crumb. He chases Kit and Fever through London in a sedan chair, and while Kit and Ted are shooting at each other, Kit Solent is hit by one of Ted Swiney's bullets. Fever then takes Kit's gun and shoots at one of Ted's chair carriers. When Fever takes the injured Kit Solent to Godshawk's Head, Ted Swiney takes his riot to the Head and tells Master Wormtimber to send paper boys inside the Head, which eventually catch fire and collapse the Head. Ted Swiney then became Mayor of London, and Nicola Quercus and the Movement arrived in their traction fortress. Ted Swiney challenges Quercus to a fight outside the Barbican, and attempts to crush Quercus with a beer barrel. But instead the barrel rolled the wrong way and crushed Ted Swiney instead, killing him.